The B-List Lite: 4/23 - 4/25

The Tribe wins every game in which they ... score, and today's game recaps feature:

• ¡Fausto!
• The skillful skill of Mike Redmond
• Even with a bat!
• Trend analysis of Justin Masterson: he is stinking
• Jake Westbrook pitched
• The efficiency of Tony Sipp
• How Not To Productions Presents: Sustaining a Rally
• Our team defense is ... good?

There are lots of places to watch your team ground into double plays in four consecutive innings, but only one place to read The B-List.

Is the offense "really" this bad?

The question comes from Mickey on a mailing list from the USENet days, and it's a good one.  Note that I don't mean "Has the offense been this bad," because, well, look: of course it has.  It's been abysmal.  The team is "hitting" .223/.307/.337.  That's just pitiful.  Those look like numbers I grew up with in the '70s, when Frank Duffy and Charlie Spikes were flailing away and Dave Duncan was a "power threat."  (We referred to his "power" because his "ability to make contact" was lacking.)  Fully half the games (9 of 18) have resulted in the Indians scoring TWO OR FEWER RUNS.  To paraphrase NBA fans, "Outs don't lie."

No, the more interesting question is, "Are the players that make up this offense legitimately so limited that we can expect very, very bad numbers to continue into the season?"  I think the question to this is pretty obviously, "No," if only because I don't think any team in the New Modern Era (post-strike 1994) has put up numbers so putrid.  It's one thing for a single overmatched hitter like Tofu Lou to be awful: he'll get replaced, and then he won't make as many outs.  It's quite another for an ENTIRE TEAM to look like Ray Oyler.

The B-List Lite: 4/22

The Tribe leaves Minnesota with a win on Mitch Talbot's gem, and today's game recap features:

• Mighty Mitch Talbot, your (gulp) "ace"
• A contrast in Perez Stylings
• Why Asdrubal Cabrera is 4/5th the leadoff hitter Denard Span is
• Andy Marte, hitting hero!
• Everybody hits!
• "Neener neener!"
• A Managerial Head-Scratcher

There are very few places to watch Andy Marte do ... anything, but only one place to read The B-List.

Top Five Things Lamer than the Indians' Offense

The Cleveland Indians were shut down for the second consecutive night.  They are 6-1 in games in which they have scored a THIRD RUN.  They are 6-8 overall, meaning that there have been SEVEN games in which they have scored TWO OR FEWER RUNS.  That's fully HALF OF THEIR GAMES.  That is really, really, really, really bad.

I wanted to describe the Indians' offense as The Lamest Thing in the World, but alas, I was able to find at least 5 things lamer.  However, these things aren't a LOT lamer, and in some cases we're splitting hairs.

The B-List Lite: 4/21

The Tribe has never won in Target Field, and today's game recap features:

• Francisco Liriano's command ... of the umpire
• David Huff's blunderbussery
• The least-likely infield hit ever
• The Worst Plate Appearance in the World!
• Grasping at Straws
• Faint praise
• Advice for Matt LaPorta

There are lots of places to watch a pitch put up more than 1 Witt Point per inning, but only one place to read The B-List.

Believe it: Shin-Soo Choo is the Indians' Best Player

I made a comment last week that Shin-Soo Choo has supplanted Grady Sizemore as the Best Player on the Cleveland Indians.

Is this really a controversial statement?

Consider this fine piece by Paul Cousineau.  He beat me to the punch, although I had originally beaten him to the punch, except I am more of a lout.  (I didn't write the piece last week, nor this weekend, nor before now.  Mea culpa.)

Here's the angle I meant to take on it: I claim that Shin-Soo Choo might now be a better player than Grady Sizemore EVER WAS.

The B-List Lite: 4/20

The Tribe opens the Target Field Era with a loss, and today's game recap features:

• Kevin Slowey's masterful command
• Justin Masterson's sloweyful command
• An excellent night from the bullpen
• The return of Russ Branyan!
• Guess if he struck out!
• Some very, very, very, very ...
• ... very, very, very bad defense
• Pronk smash!

There are lots of places to watch run-scoring wild pitches AGAIN, but only one place to read The B-List.

The B-List Lite: 4/16 - 4/18

The Tribe sweeps the ChiSox, and today's game recaps feature:

• The development of Tofu Lou Marson
• The progression of Jake Westbrook
• The returns of Chris Perez and Asdrubal Cabrera as useful players
• The one-man offense
• Making fun of the White Sox' "offense"
• Lamenting the Cleveland "offense"
• Mitch Talbot's gem
• Around the bullpen

There are lots of places to watch all five guys in your rotation post consecutive Quality Starts, but only one place to read The B-List.

The B-List Lite: 4/15

The Tribe ends their 5-game losing streak with a complete game win from David Huff,  and today's game recap features:

• David Huff's dominant outing
• Matt Harrison and an application of the Fundamental Error of Attribution
• Shin-Soo Choo saves the day
• An outrageous claim
• Travis Hafner's future role
• Ducks on the Pond!
• The finest outing by the bullpen this season

There are lots of places to watch your team hit .111 with runners in scoring position, but only one place to read The B-List.

The B-List Lite: 4/14

The Tribe runs their loss streak to five,  and today's game recap features:

• Justin Masterson's strengths and weaknesses
• Asdrubal Cabrera's weaknesses
• The Heart of the Order's weaknesses
• Tofu Lou's weaknesses
• Squander Ball
• A Bedtime Story
• The Doofus Fan

There are lots of places to watch fan interference cost your team a run, but only one place to read The B-List.

A Bedtime Story

Once upon a time, there was a team that got thoroughly dominated by Colby Freaking Lewis.

And that's how I knew they sucked.

The end.

Around the Division: This Might Be Detroit's Year

Since this blog is generally read by Cleveland fans, and, as the marvelous Mike Polk points out, "We're not Detroit," some fans may not have noticed the finish to the Tigers-Royals game yesterday.  For Cleveland fans, this had an eerie feeling to it.

Erstwhile starter Brian Bannister allowed a total of four baserunners through 6 innings on a walk and three singles.  No Tiger even reached second base, and he struck out two hitters in the 6th to look as strong as ever.  The highest number of hitters he faced in an inning was FOUR.  The Royals even scored a fifth "insurance run" in the top of the 7th when Yoon Betancourt got a hit.  This pretty much defines "your day," right?  Brian Bannister shuts down the opposition, and Yoon Betancourt gets a hit off Joel Zumaya.

It was not "Kansas City's day."  It may not be their "month."  Or "life."

The B-List Lite: 4/12

The Indians lose their home opener, which is nothing new in that they've now lost THREE home openers (CHW, DET, CLE),  and today's game recap features:

• Fausto Carmona's continued success
• The inexplicable use of Chris Perez
• The inexplicable badness of Chris Perez
• Jamey Wright succeeds!
• Jamey Wright fails!
• Shin-Soo Choo activates his bat!
• Shin-Soo Choo deactivates his brain!
• How the Indians were dominated by Rangers relievers who had no business doing such a thing

There are lots of places to watch run-scoring wild pitches at a Cleveland game, but only one place to read The B-List.

The B-List Lite: 4/9 - 4/11

The Indians managed to lose three games in Detroit this weekend, two in SPECTACULAR fashion, and today's game recaps feature:

• More on The Worst Play in the World
• David Huff being better
• Mitch Talbot being ... something
• Anatomy of a Crushed Soul: Decision Points
• Anatomy of a Crushed Soul: Failure by Suck
• C-Pez out of gas
• Jake Westbrook out of gas
• Steve Buffum's soul out of gas
• Longball for temporary fun and profit

There are lots of places to watch a walk-off wild pitch, but only one place to read The B-List.

Room for Improvement Watch: 4/11

I thought I'd go ahead and keep tabs on the 8 players I identified in the pre-season "Room for Improvement" series to see if the predictions I made are making any sense.

Grady Sizemore (+42 VORP): .273/.304/.455

The good news: 6 hits include 2 doubles and a triple.  1 SB to 0 CS.  5 RBI leads team.
The bad news: 8 Ks and 0 BB in 23 PA.
The odd news: Extrapolating, he has been in scoring position at least 4 times and has not scored.
Verdict: Obviously too early to say, but Sizemore's improvement was always more about health than talent.  How serious is the "mid-back strain" that kept him out of Sunday's game?

Fausto Carmona (+30 VORP): 4.50 ERA, 1.17 WHIP, 6 IP, 1 H, 6 BB, 1 K, 3 R

The good news: The man gave up one hit.
The bad news: The man walked six guys.
The odd news: Carmona's BABIP is .000 because the only hit was a homer.