The B-List Lite: 5/5

The Tribe blows a 2-run lead in the 9th on an error and a bomb, and today's game recap features:

• Why Fausto's walks weren't as bad as you think
• Why Luis Valbuena's error doesn't invalidate his game
• Why Chris Perez' gopher ball doesn't invalidate his game
• Why Matt LaPorta's two singles don't validate his game
• A cheap shot at Mike Redmond's advanced age
• Dept. of Not Surprise
• Why two bad plays don't invalidate the five-out save

There are lots (and lots and lots) of places to watch Russ Branyan strike out AGAIN, but only one place to read The B-List.

The B-List Lite: 5/4

Extreme Blunderbuss Action does in the Tribe, and today's game recap features:

• Sage advice for Jake Westbrook he already knows
• Sage advice for Jensen Lewis he might not already know
• Grousing about the bullpen in general
• Except Chip Ambriz
• Credit Where Credit is Due
• Dept. of Not Surprise
• Two-out RBI sighting!

There are lots (and lots and lots) of places to watch Russ Branyan strike out, but only one place to read The B-List.

The B-List Lite: 5/3

Brett Cecil retires the first 19 in a row as the Tribe loses 5-1, and today's game recap features:

• Mitch Talbot and a lesson from archaeology
• Tony Sipp's quiet emergence
• Jhonny Peralta's golden eye
• Manny Acta's continuing Manny Acta'ing
• A snide comment about John Buck's neck
• Irrational disdain for Mark Grudzielanek continued
• Very little else

There are lots of places to watch your team lose on a bunt, but only one place to read The B-List.

Poaching

The Cleveland Indians are at a point in their developmental history where we have to resign ourselves to the truth that there are four ways in which we can hope to have talent:

1) Draft (or otherwise sign, as in Latin America) & develop

2) Trade for prospects & develop

3) Trade for or sign second-tier-salaried major-leaguer

4) Sign an NRI and get lucky

We've had some recent success with (1): Lonnie Chisenhall, Jason Kipnis, and Cord Phelps are performing well enough in the minors, and recent successes like Jhonny Peralta, Fausto Carmona, and the recently-departed Victor Martinez show we have had success in non-draft-elligible players in the past.  (Tony Sipp is a draft product who is actually useful in the majors.)  Most people accept that (2) is actually one of Mark Shapiro's strongest suits, yielding (for example) Grady Sizemore, Shin-Soo Choo, and Luis Valbuena.  It's also resulted in some busts (Andy Marte) and guys of questionable value (Tofu Lou) and the jury's out on a bunch of last year's haul (LaPorta, Hagadone, Knapp, Carrasco, Barnes), but it's been one of the things Shapiro has done well at times.

The B-List Lite: 4/30 - 5/2

A three-game set with the Twins ends as most Indians three-game sets do, and today's game recaps feature:

• A lack of concern for Fausto's bad outing
• An expression of concern for Grady's bad start
• A managerial head-scratcher
• An acknowledgement of Justin Morneau's demigoddery
• Jhonny Peralta's hot streak
• Tofu Lou's hot streak
• Raffy Perez as Fredo Corleone
• Welcome to the club, Man Named "Chip!"

There are lots of places to watch your team lose a 4th consecutive series 2 games to 1, but only one place to read The B-List.

The B-List Lite: 4/28

The Tribe lose on Howie Kendrick's mighty walkoff bunt, and today's game recap features:

• Cautious optimism for Jake Westbrook
• Completely unwarranted euphoria for Tofu Lou
• Somewhat unjustified railing for Grady Sizemore
• A calm, rational discussion of Chris Perez
• No, wait, I didn't do that.
• Extreme yelling at Chris Perez
• Acknowledgements of bullpen arms
• But not Joe Smiff

There are lots of places to watch your team lose on a bunt, but only one place to read The B-List.

What is "bush league?"

"It was a bad baseball play that happened to work out," Perez said afterward. "I don't want to say it was bush league. But you never see that. Ninety-nine percent of hitters in that situation would rather win the game with a hit, not a bunt."

Okay, so Howie Kendrick's bunt was not "bush league," at least according to noted expert Chris Perez.  However, when you say, "I don't want to say it was bush league," this is much akin to Kanye West saying, "I'ma let you finish," which of course means, "I'ma not gonna let you finish."  Perez is going out of his way to say the play was not bush, which means that he totally believes the play was bush.

What defines a play as "bush?"

The B-List Lite: 4/27

The Tribe rebound on the strength of Austin Kearns' resurgence, and today's game recap features:

• Mythic Mitch!
• In praise of Tofu Lou
• No, really!
• Austin Kearns, best NRI signing ... ever?
• A potential surplus on the squad
• The Bullpen of Death!

There are lots of places to watch your team leave 14 men on base, but only one place to read The B-List.

The B-List Lite: 4/26

It's time for Manny Mouse and the Failketeers, and today's game recap features:

• Pitching fail
• Contact fail
• Hitting with RISP fail
• Strategy fail
• Pinch-hitting fail
• Luck fail
• Fail

There are lots of places to watch your team leave 14 men on base, but only one place to read The B-List.

The B-List Lite: 4/23 - 4/25

The Tribe wins every game in which they ... score, and today's game recaps feature:

• ¡Fausto!
• The skillful skill of Mike Redmond
• Even with a bat!
• Trend analysis of Justin Masterson: he is stinking
• Jake Westbrook pitched
• The efficiency of Tony Sipp
• How Not To Productions Presents: Sustaining a Rally
• Our team defense is ... good?

There are lots of places to watch your team ground into double plays in four consecutive innings, but only one place to read The B-List.

Is the offense "really" this bad?

The question comes from Mickey on a mailing list from the USENet days, and it's a good one.  Note that I don't mean "Has the offense been this bad," because, well, look: of course it has.  It's been abysmal.  The team is "hitting" .223/.307/.337.  That's just pitiful.  Those look like numbers I grew up with in the '70s, when Frank Duffy and Charlie Spikes were flailing away and Dave Duncan was a "power threat."  (We referred to his "power" because his "ability to make contact" was lacking.)  Fully half the games (9 of 18) have resulted in the Indians scoring TWO OR FEWER RUNS.  To paraphrase NBA fans, "Outs don't lie."

No, the more interesting question is, "Are the players that make up this offense legitimately so limited that we can expect very, very bad numbers to continue into the season?"  I think the question to this is pretty obviously, "No," if only because I don't think any team in the New Modern Era (post-strike 1994) has put up numbers so putrid.  It's one thing for a single overmatched hitter like Tofu Lou to be awful: he'll get replaced, and then he won't make as many outs.  It's quite another for an ENTIRE TEAM to look like Ray Oyler.

The B-List Lite: 4/22

The Tribe leaves Minnesota with a win on Mitch Talbot's gem, and today's game recap features:

• Mighty Mitch Talbot, your (gulp) "ace"
• A contrast in Perez Stylings
• Why Asdrubal Cabrera is 4/5th the leadoff hitter Denard Span is
• Andy Marte, hitting hero!
• Everybody hits!
• "Neener neener!"
• A Managerial Head-Scratcher

There are very few places to watch Andy Marte do ... anything, but only one place to read The B-List.

Top Five Things Lamer than the Indians' Offense

The Cleveland Indians were shut down for the second consecutive night.  They are 6-1 in games in which they have scored a THIRD RUN.  They are 6-8 overall, meaning that there have been SEVEN games in which they have scored TWO OR FEWER RUNS.  That's fully HALF OF THEIR GAMES.  That is really, really, really, really bad.

I wanted to describe the Indians' offense as The Lamest Thing in the World, but alas, I was able to find at least 5 things lamer.  However, these things aren't a LOT lamer, and in some cases we're splitting hairs.

The B-List Lite: 4/21

The Tribe has never won in Target Field, and today's game recap features:

• Francisco Liriano's command ... of the umpire
• David Huff's blunderbussery
• The least-likely infield hit ever
• The Worst Plate Appearance in the World!
• Grasping at Straws
• Faint praise
• Advice for Matt LaPorta

There are lots of places to watch a pitch put up more than 1 Witt Point per inning, but only one place to read The B-List.

Believe it: Shin-Soo Choo is the Indians' Best Player

I made a comment last week that Shin-Soo Choo has supplanted Grady Sizemore as the Best Player on the Cleveland Indians.

Is this really a controversial statement?

Consider this fine piece by Paul Cousineau.  He beat me to the punch, although I had originally beaten him to the punch, except I am more of a lout.  (I didn't write the piece last week, nor this weekend, nor before now.  Mea culpa.)

Here's the angle I meant to take on it: I claim that Shin-Soo Choo might now be a better player than Grady Sizemore EVER WAS.