Sunday, April 4, 2010

Contractural Obligation: Best & Worst in 100 words

In the best case scenario, Westbrook returns to form, Carmona’s control from the winter/spring is real, Masterson finds a pitch to retire lefties, Talbot and Huff are better than replacement level, Sizemore is healthy and MVP-caliber, Choo maintains his gains, LaPorta improves, Raffy Perez returns to usefulness, the back end of the bullpen (whomever they are) holds leads, the infield defense improves, Valbuena doesn’t crater, Peralta has a 20-homer year, far fewer total schmoes see playing time, Carlos Santana is up by June and is excellent, and team health is excellent, yielding 85 wins and the Division title.

In the worst case, Westbrook has control and stamina problems, Carmona spits the bit, other starters channel 2009, the bullpen can’t hold leads, Peralta is traded, Wes Hodges brings his frying pan to third, Sizemore gets hurt, LaPorta becomes Austin Kearns, no catcher posts a .600 OPS, Valbuena craters, Brantley is Jason Tyner, the Korean army abducts Shin-Soo Choo, mass ptomaine poisoning on Dollar Dog Night, the Cavs lose Game 7 of the Finals on missed free throws by Ilgauskas, LeBron signs with Chicago, Progressive Field burns down, the Browns draft Tim Tebow, and everyone dies. Pretty typical Cleveland fare.


  1. Would it REALLY be that bad if Progressive Field burned down?

  2. As heartbreaking as it can be to be an Indians fan, it's still better to have them play in a stadium. Sliding on asphalt can be very hard on your knees.